my reflections can be found in this quarter's "portfolio prompts". i enjoyed switching things up by using these to structure my "end of quarter" reflection
it is hard to put this quarter into words. if i had to do pick one it would be: learning. i have grown more the past few weeks + a quarter than i have in a long time.
it feels funny to write my spring q reflection nearly a month after it ended. doing so has been on my "list" for weeks, but I just couldn't find the time. it's funny, when this all started i felt as though i had nothing but time. spring quarter online was easy for me and i feel guilty for that privilege. my two "on campus" courses were asynchronous and incredibly interesting. once i got a schedule i was able to maintain it and i finished early. i also maintained my internship which i know a lot of students aren't able to stay. CP's value of "amplifying next generation leaders" is not just words. the resurgence of the black lives matter movement has shaped this year for me as it should everyone. although i would consider myself someone educated and aware, i had ( and still have) a lot of learning to do. i've been reading, listening, and supporting in any ways i can. i am also helping develop CP Future, a community within CP to go beyond myself and engage other Gen Zs. i've grown increasingly frustrated with the way i lived my life before all of this. being part of a sorority, sitting looking at my golf course front lawn, visiting our cabin... i often say my white privilege, but as one of my close friends from high school pointed out to me yesterday, it's my mom's white privilege. covid-19 has obviously made this time of important learning challenging with all of us separated to our respective homes... i am so grateful and fortunate to have work, meaningful work in this time. Corona virus. COVID-19. Or as President Trump would like to call it, the "Chinese virus". It's the only thing that is on anyone's mind right now - including mine. It's hard to think about this quarter without the abrupt end, but before it was awesome. I think it's important to reflect on the good and what I am excited to get back to doing.
This quarter was hard, but rewarding. It started off with moving into "Big Double" with my best friend, Bri. We had been looking forward to this since we decided to room together in autumn. Not only was I excited to room with Bri, but we had a killer room theme: Moomin. I've never had so much fun unpacking and decorating that's for sure. I've always worried about rooming with people, but not with Bri. For example, my best friend from high school Jayna and I know we probably wouldn't room well together. Rooming with Bri was perfect. We had so much fun. This quarter was also full of time spent with our new PC. It was truly a dream. When I wasn't curled up on Bri's top bunk in our room I was traveling with Common Purpose. In February I had the privilege of registering voters in North Carolina and following the 2020 presidential candidates leading up to the South Carolina primary. Needless to say these were life changing. Please see my pages on my internship this quarter to learn more. My biggest take way? I am ready and all in for our fight to win this next election. The end of the quarter was quick. I woke up one morning to Bri asking me if I could take her to the airport the next day. I am sad I wasn't in Seattle, but I wouldn't trade my experiences for the world. I had it too good. I would have never expected it to end this way though... COVID-19 has changed my life. I am just now settling into this new normal. I am working on creating structure and preparing for a whole quarter of online classes. I am nervous, but I am trying to see it as a new adventure to try a different type of learning. With my free time I am using Duolingo to learn Spanish and finally working on my ankle which went through a lot of abuse freshman year. It's hard to imagine going this long without seeing my college friends. It's equally difficult that I have friends from high school back home that I can't see. One of the most frustrating parts of this experience has been watching people who don't take this seriously. So many people in my life have the privilege to be concerned more about parties than the pandemic. I am lucky my biggest problem is online classes, but I've seen close loved ones dealing with more. One of my moms is immunocompromised. Another is out of work due to school closures. I've felt and seen the impact of COVID-19. Moreover, I've become acutely aware of my race. I am trying to keep positive about the situation. The past few days have been so pretty in Seattle. I've been taking walks and reading outside. I finally broke out "Shoe Dog" by Phil Knight. My grandpa gave me this book two years ago and now I have the time- or should say am making the time -to read for fun. I'm doing everything I can to stay productive and take advantage of this time. I've always said that that the holiday season is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the lights, the smell of the noble fir tree, and surrounding myself with the people I care about. This year feels different, but not necessarily in a bad way. Growing up Christmas was magical, but this year it feels like Christmas has already come and gone. Maybe it's because very year my friends from elementary school and I go to see Santa together and due to our busy schedules we went during Thanksgiving break. Or maybe because I haven't been around too many children who are eagerly awaiting Santa Claus. I feel myself getting old.
This break has still been great. I've spent time with my parents and high school friends and even slept past 8 AM. At the same time, I've been working on my current internship with Common Purpose and applications for this upcoming summer. Two days ago I spoke on the phone with an Enrollment Counselor for the School of the New York Times. Later that day I was accepted to The Washington Center after weeks of hard work on my application materials. That night I attended a Democratic Debate Watch Party put on by Common Purpose Next, Today I met with my internship supervisor, David Domke, and other member of the Common Purpose Now team to discuss our work with chairs for the DNC. Even with so much to look forward to in 2020, I find myself unable to relax in this break. It's the first time I've been able sit down since I've left for college, but I don't think my body has realized it yet. I had two anxiety episodes which I haven't had in a long time. I'm working on letting myself relax and enjoy doing nothing. I'm so used to going so fast, but I need to make sure I don't burn myself out. Today, in my pre-law seminar, we talked about the value of reflection. This is a very important value to be, but lately, I haven't been reflecting at all. Honestly, I've felt sort of lost. I am not taking harder or more classes per se, but I feel challenged. I've never felt this way before. In high school I was crazy busy, but always felt on top of things. Right now I feel like I can't catch up. I didn't feel this way freshman year either.
This quarter has forced me to recognize that we aren't linear. We grow in different ways at different times. As much as I would like to say I have it figured out I don't. I am still working and trying and sometimes that counts. I have also learned how lucky I am to have such a strong support system. Last year I went home maybe once or twice per quarter. This was a goal of mine freshman year since I go to school so close to home and wanted to develop independence. Lately, I've been going home more. My parents have been constantly there for me and I am so grateful for them. Even though this quarter hasn't been my best I've been enjoying my classes and accomplishing other things. For example, I've stayed in touch with my friends from this summer which I was worried about upon return to UW and my sorority. One step at a time keep moving forward :) I As I sit at the beginning of Week 8, I am shocked at the speed freshman year has had. A year ago today I was a very different person. I've made plenty of mistakes, but I've also grown. This Monday I registered for Autumn 2019. It was weird to think about the fall since the next thing for me is my study abroad this summer. Registration snuck up on me and catch me off guard. Sophomore year feels like it comes with a whole new set of responsibilities. I've been thinking about possibly getting an internship or another job more related to my major, I know I'll be getting a little sister in my house, I will turn twenty... I felt a strong impulse to plan the rest of my time at UW like the HONORS 100 assignment. Having spent nearly a year here I have a better grasp on what I want to do. I always knew I wanted to study Political Science, but I've juggled what I want to minor in. I thought about LSJ, JSIS, and English. Recently, my friend told me about the Human Rights minor. After looking at the description I realized this is the perfect minor for me. I can earn this minor by taking both LSJ and JSIS classes. I wanted to double minor in LSJ and JSIS, but looking at my plan this would be challenging. Through the Human Rights minor I can explore more with LSJ and JSIS without feeling so constrained. Getting back on track and focusing on why I am really here at the UW has helped me clear my head. College is so different from high school. It's much better in a lot of way, but it comes with another set of hurdles. I always considered myself a good time manager and I think I've done fairly well in college thus far, but it was still difficult not having a set schedule. Every time I get settled the quarter is ending. I took on a lot of responsibilities from Green Greeks to Panhellenic Leadership Council to Director of Lectureship. There are times when I feel like this was too much and others when I feel like I am not doing enough. In all honesty, I am not quite sure what I'm doing. I know what I like learning, but I have no clue what comes next. It's a little terrifying, but I guess it is exciting at the same time.
Ah the dreaded "Winter Quarter". Surprisingly, this quarter went by very fast. To say the least, it was a rollercoaster ride from start to finish. I am so excited to get a break and start a new schedule. I think the honeymoon phase of college ended. My classes last quarter were probably harder, but I really started to settle in and realize I'm in college. I struggled with friend problems both in my sorority and from high school, didn't sleep nearly enough, and was diagnosed with a blood disorder. There were great times too! I brought some of my sorority friends to my cabin on Whidbey Island (aka my favorite place on Earth), played in the snow, went on my first formal, got into a study abroad program, turned 19, traveled to Vancouver, and so much more. It's weird to reflect on my life right now. I am so lucky. I love UW, I love my sorority, and I love my life.
The past few weeks of my life have been absolute insanity. Life before the University of Washington seems like a dream. I am extremely happy here, happier than I expected. I was nervous coming to UW. I wasn’t sure if it was the right place for me. In my first HONORS 100 assignment, I wrote about my apprehension toward UW, but my excitement for the future. I am happy to say this excitement has grown. I don’t think there is a better school for me. Moving into the sorority and starting classes created a whirlwind for me the first quarter. I felt overwhelmed by commitments and assignments. I didn’t join as many clubs as I hoped and found it difficult to get school work at times. On top of that, on September 29th, I broke my ankle.
Making a schedule for myself that included social life, sleep, school work, and exercise proved difficult. In all honesty, I still have to check my schedule and it’s Week 9. Midterms served as a wake up. I got focused back into academics. My ankle healed and I started making time to go to the IMA. I made a solid group of friends in my house and I didn’t feel like I needed to attend every event to get to know people. With things settling, I worked on my involvement and applied and was accepted to serve as Junior Panhellenic delegate. I am excited for this leadership opportunity. I feel good now that I am finding my place. Taking two regular UW courses alongside HONORS 205 has made me thankful for the small classes the Honors Program gives me. I love having familiar faces and a professor that knows my name. Something that has surprised me is the grade inflation I had in my high school. UW has certainly been humbling. This style of learning is very hands off. I need to put myself out of my comfort zone to reach out for help. This was scary, but I think I am learning how to do this. Office hours can be really intimidating, but I have attended a few. It is a goal of mine to more this next quarter. I also attended study sessions for my midterms as well as the POL S/JSIS/LSJ writing center for help on my essay. There are so many resources on UW’s campus and I am learning to navigate them. One of my goals by the end of this quarter and my time at UW is to get more involved in the Honors Program. Yes, I am taking Honors classes, but I want to be a part of the community. At the beginning of this quarter there were a lot of opportunities, but I felt so overwhelmed. I regret not making more of an effort. In my Honors classes (HONORS 205 and 100) many of my peers are good friends. They live in Terry and spend a lot of their free time together. At first I felt really isolated from my Honors peers, other than the friends I made at A&O. Now after being in the classes for a few weeks, I am getting closer with other students and feel part of the program more. I feel as though I have grown a lot already. I think I was a little too ambitious coming into my freshman fall quarter. There were so many things I wanted to do and I saw myself becoming my high school self- overworked and overstretched. I became disappointed in myself for not fulfilling those goals which wasn’t a good mindset. I am working on setting reasonable expectations for myself. I haven’t felt more excited about the future. |